- persona vs essence
- darren-allen on character and personality from his book self-unself
- is possible to uncover one’s own character, by peeling away personality, and this in turn builds a new personality—our fascination with this is reflected in many a great story—but it is no more possible to bolt on a new characterful personality from the outside, through therapy, for example, or positive thinking, or life-style change, or, most ridiculously of all, deciding that ‘from now on I’m going to be honest (or friendly, or courageous, or interesting)’, than it is possible to become a concert cellist if one has never picked up an instrument, or give literal birth if one is a man. It may appear, in such cases, that the personality has changed, but a slap round the head and the mask flies off.
- The essence—the individuality, originality or uniqueness—of character is reflected in the substance of personality, which gives the former voice, gait, gesture, story, song, armchair, t-shirt and cake
- Essence can only be experienced by essence; a communion which is, by virtue of its unselfish quality, direct. We call this transmission empathy; the source of morality. Your consciousness and mine are unselfish and therefore, ultimately, the same. As they manifest in character I experience your quality as my own, and wish your good as I would my own. I can even feel myself, in your company, becoming more like you, a rare pleasure for two characters, a complete impossibility for two personalities and a total agony for a character in the company of a personality, towards whom empathy brings suffering; and so mere sympathy (or care or pity)—trying to understand or learn who you are—must take its place.
- Sympathy does have its place, for we all have personalties that, to come to know, do require effort, time, patience and all the other things that we’re told we need to live with people. Coming to know personality also requires explicit instruction. Unlike my direct experience of your character, which naturally shows itself, you have to tell me you don’t like aubergines, or your ears being nibbled, or I’ll dissatisfy you. I need to ask you about your past, your pleasures and your pains, and care about the answer. From egoic personalities, there’s nothing but answers, and so it’s a waste of time listening to their opinions, beliefs, anecdotes, likes, dislikes, complaints, memories, fears and desires—and, oh Lord, they are many—but for personalities which manifest character, a charming journey through personality unfolds—not free of dangerous chasms and stagnant ponds—but worth taking; even if, after ten minutes together, or sixty years, we never leave the place we first met. For all I was ever really saying, and all you ever really heard, was my character.
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