- toxic shame
- I am wrong as I am
- I don't have a right to exist
- Oppose to guilt where I can make for what I did, with shame I am fundamentally flaud.
- Often shame appears only as the tip of the iceberg
- healthy shame
- The highest utility of shame is to influence my choice to be more aligned with what I actually value - a corrective force for misalignment within my own being
- A signal that we are crossing our boundary and make us too vulnerable
- as a child you cannot question their abilities because this would mean on averwhelm.
- layer: so if needs as a child are not meet, we think that something must be wrong with us
- layer: we start to disconnect with ourself because we seem to not have certain capacities. this further "proofs" that something is wrong with us
- layer: I am bad because I feel bad inside of myself
- pride
- healty
- The highest utility of pride is to positively reinforce effective alignment.
- problematic
- there can be an proud based intentity that covers the shame beneath it
- negativity bias is often a coping mechanism for feeling shame
- shame is a terrible motivation
- reframe to think about shame not as healty/unhealthy but accute/chronic
Notes
- Jordan Hall on Shame
- shame as a support system.
- is this useful-rather-true ?
- this video can be seen as an example of an not so useful reframe, at least in our current timeline
- but it may point to the issue of allowing the finter-moon for real or thruthful vitual signaling which currently gets canceled out by the overwhelming noise
- you can only support someone with shame as a support who has the internal configuration to see it as that
- lower/higher shame
- lower shame fosters resentment and brings you further from the path
- higher shame
- burns hot - fast that thing away that holds you back from the path of the highest
- improperly using shame
- Visa on cruelty leaks which seems to me somehow related to shame
Links