- honest sharing, with its rules, engourages us to be vulnerability.
- its a way to break "tauma bonds" conscious
- through trauma or survival-strategy we are compelled to “choose attachment over authenticity”
- 2 types
- dominance (one-up) or dependence (one-down)
- verschmelzer or autonomie type
- share content from 3 parts/levels of
- physical sensations of the body
- emotional
- mental
- each person as 10 min. to share and the others listen
- shared in a certain way
- the usuable way we share what is inside of us does not lead to deep connection and to a healing
- usualy we communicate what is inside of us, as it is reality, with full identification
- e.g. "i had a great evening yesterday" -> "In my mind there is the thought of the great evening yesterday"
- levels
- 3 T's
- There is the thought of...
- There is the feeling/emotion/ of ...
- There is the sensation of ...
- "My head has the thought of..", "My mind has the though of..", "The head has imagines of.."
- "There are emotions of joy"
- "In my physical body there is pain in my right knee"
- we talk as if it is about someone else
- if we do it like that it has the following implications
- if i talk this way its obvious for the other nervous system that I don't have to act it out
- For example if there is hate or there are emotions of anger, this is different to acting in out like "fuck".
- therefore the other does not have to go into a defence reaction
- So we start to communicate without identification
- Thus the other nervous system is able to move into a state of stability and safty
- there must be something else beside these 3 layers. what is that which shares about these 3 layers. You could call it conciousness, the host, awareness, higher-self, self-energy, etc.
- The more we do this, more and more we get beyond these levels and reach the level of conciousness which then leads at the end to meditation
- We mostly are used to talk in form of stories. In honest sharing, speciall in the beginning, we tend to wander outside the contrains and talk in story form with identification. The issue with it that at this point you actual are not sharing honestly anymore. To honestly share you would tell about what is happening in your head having a thought/image/imagination of ...
- In the context of honest-sharing the honesty in this way is important because otherwise the nervous systems are not getting the full picture and cannot assume safty. The whole idea of HS is that our system/nervous-system stops perceiving threats where there are none. To do that it needs to trully see it throught others otherwise that system does not "believe" it.
- As the one who shares you are always free to end your sharing at anypoint in time.
- you can do it as a couple, in a group and also alone
- doing it alone you can image talking to the universe
- groups max 6-8 people otherwise the process takes too long
- its important that the other is able and wanting to listen to that
- healing and transformation is always about energy flow
- looking in the eye if possible would be best
- when we start sharing our content we need anothereone who listen to that
- if he does and is open to listen the energy flows through, and that is what creates the healing and transformation
- if we communicate in this way it's not threatening to us and therefore always interesting. I might get easier to be open and listen and this creates also a sense of flow.
- the listeners are encouraged to look inside of them for what is happening. many insights about yourself can happen as a listener.
- limit facial expression to a minimum without forcing anything
- because any feedback interfers with the process of feeling safe
- through that we recognize that being actual listened to, does not depend on feedback
- it is not necessary to overcome/go beyond our limits
- no sharing should be forced
- you instead communicate the limits
- "i have a certain feeling which is too much for this setting here"
- there is absolutely no pressure
- it is a non-coercion way
- we just share what is there
- the process is already the solution
- we realize there is a flux happening that is always happening.
- there is no goal beyond that
- we don't that to heal anything or solve conflicts.
- the exchange as such is already the solution
- decentralized because we don't have therapist for everyone
- sweet spot where its safe enough to do it anywhere
- practical tipps / insights
- end the sharing with "aho" or "thank you" so that its clear you reached the end.
- limit conversations after the sharing
- when you share
- you don't need to look into the eye and you can experiment with switching
- its absolute ok to not speak if nothing is there to share
- start with body sensations for an easy start
- dropping down to the originary helps to grounding
- if time is limited reduce the 10 min. to 8 or 5
- If your state, during sharing, is more comprised of nervousness and a mind that is moving much, than this can be shared (there is nervousness, wild mind movements). This should result in an relaxation and would open the door to deeper sharings and connection.
- in that you learn that there-are-no-wrong-feelings
- Advanced variation
- 3 people
- this is the next direct step to break out of the safetynet of having a fixed single other to speak to.
- no time splots, so everybody can speak anytime. free flowing
- similar to dialogos but with 3 people
- Theories of why people find it difficult to sharing honestly.
- They lapse into story telling and they don't find a way out. Similar to the movie inception.
- The understanding of the aim and purpose of honest sharing has not being established.
- Its the-world-you-live-in of the mind to think that we need to understanding forgiveness and love. The truth is that the only think the is necessary is exchange the these then come as side-effects.
- benefits
- helps solve the the-practice-problem by being resource building
- a greate way to practice interoception
- collapse the energy for insight, so not practical for insight generation. Look into collective-insight-practice
- it's a place to practice say-the-obvious-even-when-it-feels-like-it-really-should-go-without-saying
- the word share is a bit problematics and does not realy convey what the german word mitteilen does
- “i mitteile this with u — not to inform, but to become felt between us.”
- withshare, inshare, withgive, soulreach, tOgethtell
- tries to garanty somatic safety
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